As a twenty-four, almost twenty-five year old I put a lot of pressure on myself to have it all figured out. But honestly, I don’t know any “adultier” adults in my life who have it figured out.
For most of my life, I looked to my parents for guidance. I looked to them as an example of what my life should be and who I should be. As the veil slowly lifted and I realized that my parents are just as fucked up as the rest of us and are still trying to figure it out, the more lost I became. Aren’t these the people who are supposed to help me and ultimately shape me? Well, no.
When I decided to move 2,000 miles away from my family to pursue my dream of living in a small ski town with nothing much else figured out, I started the shift. Like a rock slowly breaking away, I began to venture out on my own. Fast forward a year later of living the dream in Colorado and I am still as lost as ever, but at least I am stoked about where I am. Small victories people.
I left the job that I thought was my dream at the beginning of the year. Honestly, it was a hard yet easy decision. I definitely suffered a little bit of FOMO about stepping away from something I was so sure about, but it’s starting to open doors I didn’t even know were there.
So…entering the UNknown. These doors I didn’t know existed or that I had access to. What the fuck does that look like? It looks like leaving my local college to pursue a degree online in something I’ve ALWAYS wanted to study. It means standing my ground in my yoga teachings but also being flexible (lol) in my ideas, nuances, and even ideologies. It looks like holding strong to my boundaries and not being a push over. It fucking looks like building my life for me (and my partner) from the ground up because no one else is gonna do it for me. And it really means being vulnerable and facing all the demons and fears I’ve let hold me back.
Let the journey begin.